For Fear of a Storm
by An-Jelly-Ca
Summary: Over the years that had past by Sirius had gone from loving the rain to hating it until finally he was just afraid of it. Sirius Black had always hated the rain. On Sirius' home life. R&R.


**A/N This is just a oneshot that popped into my head one day. It's taken me a few days to finish though lol. Just read it and review it, k?**

**Thanks in advance to whoever reviews.**

**Disclaimer: Dude, how many times do we have to go over this? Sirius is not dead, I would never say that he was dead, therefore I do not own the charcters.**

Sirius had always hated the rain. It was bright, it was loud, and it trapped him. Remus had often commented to him that he found it strange Sirius didn't like the rain when it was so like him, loud, bright, and disrupting. Sirius usually smirked and said something about how it made it harder to play Qudditch. Remus often raised an eyebrow at this statement but before he could comment James would join in and say that he liked the rain because it added more challenge to the game. And then Sirius would smile gratefully at James and the two would launch into a longwinded argument about how weather effects Qudditch. Remus would sigh and turn back to his book the picture of boredom. Sirius never liked the rain but he wouldn't admit why. To admit an actual fear, something he viewed to be irrational, would be to sacrifice his pride. And so he made up excuses, he lied.

He wasn't quite sure exactly how old he was when he began to fear the storms. Sirius dimly recalled having once felt excitement whenever a storm would begin. This had been when he was just barely two and still an only child. His earliest recollection of a storm, one which he hadn't feared was just before Regulas was born.

Flashback

_Sirius smiled happily clapping his small hands together when lightning lit up his bedroom followed by a loud crack of thunder. The toddler was home alone with just his nanny and Kreacher for company. His Mother had gone into labor with Regulas and his Father was with her leaving Sirius alone. Even as a child he loved being away from his family. _

_At his still young age they lavished him with attention and yet he still only wanted to escape them. It was as though he could sense that they really only loved him as long as he was the perfect heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. And so little Sirius has always loved to be left with just his nanny. Sirius grabbed the painted metal bars of his crib and pulled himself up so that he was facing the window. He let out a loud shriek of laughter when a crack of thunder sounded through the window. After watching the rain for a few minutes he sat down on his mattress having grown tired of standing up. Sirius picked up his cup and proceeded to bang it against the bars of his crib shrieking happily at the loud noise it made. _

End Flashback

The particular memory was slightly fuzzy but still there. It was the first and last time Sirius could recall having liked the rain. As he grew older he realized that thunderstorms such as the one that night had always been a warning of some sort. When he was little he hadn't notice the message that accompanied the storms only seeing the light and sound they brought with them.

When he was eight he truly started to loathe the storms. At eight Sirius was loud, stubborn, reckless, and on the path to abandoning his families' so-called 'ideals'. His parents recognized this and sought to squash any thoughts of rebellion from his head. On this particular afternoon Sirius had been fighting with his cousin Bella. She was older then he was being a second year and a proper-Black as well. Bella had been raving about how she and her friends had bullied some poor muggle-born first year and Sirius had snapped. He had told her that he thought she was wrong for treating the girl that way and as was his luck Bellatrix has gone running straight to his Mother. As a result Sirius had promptly ran into the kitchen and hid under the table.

Flashback

_Sirius sat perfectly still under the wooden table as he heard pounding footsteps in the hallway as doors were thrown open and promptly shut once his Mother established that he wasn't in the room. _

_He held his breath as the kitchen door swung open and his Mother paused at the threshold. The room was dark as no one other then Kreacher would ever come in and so his Mother was taking extra time in the room. _

_He heard her murmur Lumos lighting the tip of her wand. She cut the blackness of the room with the thin beam of light and Sirius curled up tighter not even daring to breathe. He heard her murmur Nox and turn on her heel about to leave the room when a flash of lightening lit up the room. He saw her eyes narrow and she stooped slightly peering under the table. He let out a quiet whimper when her eyes locked with his._

"_Sirius Orion Black get out from under there right now." She commanded her voice hard while her eyes held the familiar glint of madness. Sirius crawled out from under the table and lowered his eyes as he felt a wave of betrayal wash over him. The storm had sold him out and now he was in trouble. "Come on, I have a lesson to teach you." His mother said in her cold voice sending shivers down his spine. Sirius swallowed but looked her defiantly in the eye. She grabbed his upper arm in a vice like grip and pulled him from the room. _

End Flashback

He could remember how much he hated the rain after that moment. It was bad enough that it always brought bad things such as Regulas' birth, but now it had betrayed him to his mother. Even then he had only hated it, Sirius had yet to truly fear storms but that would soon change. The summer before he went off to Hogwarts he began to fear the storms. He was still ten at the time; his birthday was not until the twenty-second of August. His Mother was bringing him to the Malfoy's for tea. He and Lucius were supposed to 'play' and what not while their mothers chatted inanely about high society gossip. Needless to say Lucius and Sirius had never gotten along so well. But Sirius had genuinely, okay sort of, tried to get along with the arrogant prat, but he had been well unsuccessful to say the least. The two of them ended up fighting and Sirius had gotten mad and had a burst of uncontrolled magic which slammed Lucius into the wall. After apologizing profusely to Mrs. Malfoy and assuring her that there would be consequences for his actions they had left the house. His Mother brought him straight to his Father upon entering Grimwauld Place. Sirius would never forget the cold steel encased look his Father had given him that day.

Flashback

_Orion Black looked down at his son his eyes cold as he opened his middle desk drawer. Sirius gulped watching in horror as his Father extracted his wand from its case. "Kneel." He ordered fingering his wand lightly. Sirius paused for a second but decided it was best just to listen. Orion prodded Sirius in the temple with the wand. "You dare disgrace the House of Black, Boy?" His father said softly his quiet voice contrasting with the screaming Sirius was used to from his Mother. Sirius jumped when a flash of lightening hit lighting up the anger in his father's features. "Crucio." He said softly pointing his wand directly at his son's heart. _

_He watched in detached amusement as his son writhed on the ground his screams muffled by the thunder. Sirius lost track of how long he was under the curse it felt like hours. Finally Orion released his son from the curse but his punishment was not yet finished. He called for Kreacher who came immediately looking positively gleeful at the sight of Sirius barely conscious. "Take him outside and leave him there for the time being, make sure he can't escape, maybe this time he'll learn." Sirius was bound to the metal gate that surrounded the house and left there all through the night. _

End Flashback

The storm that night had been the worst in years and Sirius had been out in it. After that night he could never stand the rain. The sound of thunder made him jump; lightening sent him under his covers terrified that it would happen again. No one knew what happened that night, not even James, he only knew that Sirius was afraid and so he kept his friend's fear a secret but he didn't know why.

Over the years that had past by Sirius had gone from loving the rain to hating it until finally he was just afraid of it. When he was little and the only heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black storms were a thing of excitement, they didn't happen often but when they did Sirius had loved it.

As he grew older he realized that the storms always brought pain with them. When Regulas was born it rained, when his Mom first called him a blood traitor it poured, the first time his Father used an unforgivable on him the rain came down in torrents. The storms were often a signal that something bad would happen to him.

And so Sirius had started to dread the rain; wishing more then anything that the storms would just stop forever. Because a small irrational part of him couldn't help but think that maybe if the rain stopped his parent's would love him again, if it stopped all of his pain would just end. But Sirius knew deep down that he couldn't stop the storms anymore then he could change his parents' ideals. Sirius knew that the rain wasn't actually what caused his parents to hate him, he knew it, but he couldn't help but feel as though the rain was the reason for it. The storms which he had long ago regarded as a friend had long since betrayed him, leaving Sirius trapped in the house, trapped with his parents.

Sirius was grateful to his friends for everything they did and everything they didn't. He was glad that Remus was concerned for him but relieved that he didn't push. And then there was James, Sirius wasn't sure what he would have done all of these years if James' family hadn't taken him in whenever he needed it. James was his best friend, he knew more then the others but he never pressed. He was just sort of there in case he needed something or wanted to talk.

But Sirius would never explain his fear to his friends no matter how understanding either of them were he couldn't do it. Neither friend knew exactly how his parents chose to punish him, and if they knew that they used Unforgivables on him they'd want him to go to Dumbledore. But Sirius couldn't do that, his father would simply buy their way out of trouble and then he would be in worse trouble then ever before. Few people were dumb enough or brave enough to attempt to cross the 'Most Noble and Ancient House of Black' and most of those people were either outcast from wizarding society or dead.

Sirius knew that it was for this reason he could never explain his fears to anyone, he didn't want his friends to get hurt, and he knew as surely as he knew that thunder would follow each flash of lightening that if he told his friends would end up paying for it.

And so as storms rained down on Hogwarts he laughed off his discomfort and told Remus that they interfered with Qudditch. Sirius remained silent refused to let them see how the storms haunted him, he refused to show the fear he felt with each flash of lightening, crack of thunder, and drop of rain. They trapped him in his memories; they made him relive the past. Sirius had always hated the rain.

**A/N Review, I' d love to know what you thought of this.**


End file.
